RP WITH ME(ME)

[hissarfcaws]

【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.

♛ refer to the list above for active(?) somewhat less rusty muses (or pick someone else from my full muselist, you goddamn lunatic). ♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their name in the subject line! ♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy! ♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go. ♛ need a prompt? whoa hey look a random scenario meme go steal from that you nerd. meme code.

Comments

[subtract]

It's alright, Jakob, Add has pretty good nightvision. He can at least tell Jakob is giving him A Look. Not that he really needs to know when it's shortly followed by more of the usual nagging...

He sighs, exerting just enough energy to light up his eyes so Jakob knows how hard he's rolling them right now. "And what about it? What's done is done, I'm not about to try changing the past again." Too much trouble—not that he expects Jakob would be down for that plan anyway. If faking his death is off the table, destroying an entire timeline wouldn't even be in the same room. "You're the one who's insisted on staying by my side all this time. Compared to everything else I've done, this is nothing. We'll get through it fine."

Well... it's not wrong, isn't it? At least this time around Add didn't destroy anything on purpose. They even solved the problem on their own! So if he can get off easy after tearing apart the fabric of time and space and unleashing a horde of ayakashi on the Heavens, talking their way around this disaster should be no problem at all.

"I'll let you do the talking, but I still think we should get our story straight. If they ask me about it later and I give the wrong answer, it's going to look bad no matter what the truth is."

[gentilitea]

“That’s—” Jakob’s mouth hangs agape as he tries to think up a reply, tries to be offended at Add’s attitude, eyerolling and all. They have had a day, and it’s nowhere close to being over yet.

But it’s not the worst. Definitely not the worst.

“That’s…perfectly reasonable, actually.” And this, more than anything that’s happened to them today, is what ultimately makes him feel like he’s going insane. He might even feel a little proud of Add for that, but they don’t have the luxury of time at the moment.

“I was considering how to make you look like a hero who had just saved the Heavens from some terrible threat, but…”

No way in Heaven or even Hell will anyone believe that.

[subtract]

Who would've thought Add could actually grow a little sometimes? Although, it would probably be more helpful if he grew out of his tendency to constantly stick his nose into trouble, but that might be asking for too much.

For some reason it feels a little embarrassing to have Jakob agree with him on this, but he's just going to try not to think about it. They're on the same page, that's good. As for making Add out to be the hero— "Ugh, that's way too cheesy. As if I'd do something like that. Why don't we just take the middle road and say I stopped it because I wanted to study it? That's not so far from the truth."

Even if it is inherently suspicious that this is obviously a machine from Add's homeworld, and that someone probably saw it crashed on their temple grounds before it went on its rampage. But surely no one would use that as a way to get Add in trouble, right?

"... Hmm. Since a lot of the old gods already have a poor impression of me, it would be too easy for someone to come up with a different story that's more believable than our own. If that happens, it won't matter how solid our alibi is since it'll still be our word against theirs. We need something extra to prove we wouldn't have caused this on purpose..."

He's really, seriously thinking about faking his death again... but maybe they can still get away with it without going too far. They don't have to be dead to garner sympathy. And Add is still quicker to put himself back together than Jakob, so obviously—

"You're going to need to carry me out. Just act naturally and follow my lead." Good thing it's so dark in here, all Jakob will be able to see is a flutter of sparkling fragments as Add willingly disintegrates a couple limbs. No big deal. He reaches out for Jakob's arm, ready to teleport them both out at a moment's notice.

[gentilitea]

“You’re not seriously trying to—”

Why does it keep circling back to the faking his death thing, anyway? Ugh. He’d been about to feel offended over Add implying that no one would take Jakob’s word for whatever’s happened here, because of course people would believe him—he’s the responsible and trustworthy one here, remember? He’d kissed up to the annoying old guard to make sure of that…

But he settles for bristling about it instead. He’ll use whatever clout he thinks he actually has with the Heavens as a last resort, if he must. With a heavy sigh, he draws close to pick him up, trying not to let the stomach-churning sight of Add’s disintegrating limbs get to him. He’ll never get used to these antics.

“Try not to overdo it, then. A brief explanation, and then we proceed to the temple with all haste before anyone has the time to sentence you. Understand?”

[subtract]

Is it really that surprising when his old go-to solution was to run away to another dimension and never go back? At least he's planning to stay in the same timeline. But if he can remove himself from the problem temporarily, that's gotta be a good compromise, right??

"Of course," Add scoffs, making a show of limply hanging from Jakob's arms. "I am gravely injured from stopping that rampaging Nasod, after all. Who even knows what complicated security systems I had to break through to force it to deactivate?"

No one, that's who. Because no one else in this world has any idea how the fuck Nasod technology works, let alone the technologically-challenged natives of Takamagahara. He could claim practically anything about this robot and who would be able to prove him wrong? That's their ace right now and he's sure as hell going to make use of it.

"... Ah. But I do still want to recover it," he quickly tacks on just as he's about to teleport them away. This is still very important to him, okay?? "The core could violently explode if it isn't handled by a professional, so I'm counting on you to convince them not to try disposing of it, alright?"

Rather than give Jakob an opportunity to argue, he goes ahead and whisks them away to the outside. Ah, to feel the touch of the sun once more! And also to be surrounded by several dozen very unhappy looking shinki.

They may have landed on Amaterasu's temple grounds after all... but not on the temple, thank god. The garden is absolutely ruined, though. It's going to take a lot of work to repair all the damage considering there's a gigantic dragon mech half-buried in the soil and surrounded by a very large crater. There are also spoons everywhere, for reasons only they will understand.

But Add is ~gravely injured~ so he's just gonna... play dead, basically. Maybe moan a little when prompted? He's practically weightless right now so he might even do some pathetic writhing if it helps sell the effect.

[gentilitea]

The Heavens are going to go knocking down their doors one way or another, but at least Jakob would feel much safer himself in their home turf, however strange and eldritch and difficult to clean its infinite stairs are.

Of course, Add has to tack on yet another last-minute instruction just before cutting him off—

“You what?”

He heard it all loud and clear, dammit, and he wishes he hadn’t. And he’s definitely looking quite peevish about it—or maybe it’s because he’s squinting in the sudden glare of the outside world. It feels almost an eternity since they’d been outside, and…oh.

He has the sinking feeling that he’s going to have to clean up all of this and make all the necessary structural repairs, besides. His neat freak tendencies are so offended by all this devastation, in fact, that he completely fails to notice the smoldering gaze of all the shinki surrounding them. Indeed, a tiny moan from Add is what snaps him out of an angry butlery reverie as he turns to face Amaterasu’s shinki, straightens up, drawing Add protectively close to him, and clears his throat in a way that absolutely commands respect—or at any rate, demands it upon the implicit threat of being grounded.

Which Add is totally going to be.

“Yes, well, you’re welcome,” Jakob tells them, a trifle testily. “We will of course reimburse you for the damages we’ve caused in saving the Heavens from a most terrible monstrosity, and I will personally see to the disposal of this creature just as soon as I see to my god’s recovery.”

Without even waiting for a reply he quickly marches off in the direction of Henir’s temple, even jostling aside a few of the baffled shinki in their wake. He maintains no more than a brisk pace for now—not with all eyes on them and every possibility of guilt emerging the moment he breaks into a run, but his heart’s pounding madly in his chest as he tries to figure out how to properly escape from here. There are several dozen shinki around and Jakob would rather not have to fight them, but if he has to hand over his god then even experiencing the wrath of the Ladlevataein will be a mercy to all the Heavens.

re-emerges from the stale, blackened depths like a swamp creature rising from a muddied lakebed

[subtract]

As Jakob makes their daring escape, Add is... still playing dead. But helpfully, you know, because what kind of disgraceful shinki would dare to stop another from saving their own god? That would be the same as declaring war on Henir's domain! Would it not be rude as hell to declare war on another god in the holy Amaterasu's name without first asking for her to command it? Surely no such shinki would be worthy of being Amaterasu's vassal!

But really, it's sheer dumb luck that they don't bump into Ammy herself or one of the other high-ranking gods, because they would probably have a hell of a time getting out of there if they did. The white-robed shinki are either too busy scrambling to deal with the mess or too intimidated by Jakob's forceful aura to intervene. Somehow, they're able to make their escape.

As for how long that escape will really last before they have an army of shinki at their temple doors, well. They can worry about that later.

Once they're a fair distance away from the temple and the crowds (hey, it's not every day you get to watch a spoon meteor shower or a giant robot fall from the sky), Add drops the whole fatal-wounding act and breathes out a sigh.

"That was easier than expected." you know aside from like, literally everything else that has happened today... "Good work. We'll retrieve the robot later once everyone has their guard down again. If they won't let me take it willingly, I have a plan that involves a large-scale teleporter, fake ritual circles and explosives..."

...this plan is definitely terrible, but Jakob is spared the full explanation for now. Before Add can work on his masterful scheme, there is one other thing they'll need to deal with.

"By the way, you're going to have to carry me around for awhile. Limb restoration could take several days depending on the conditions, but it'll be faster if I can conserve my energy."

gibbers darkly from my slimy non-Euclidean haunt in greeting

[gentilitea]

It’s admittedly nice to have such a nice and peaceful walk the rest of the way to Henir’s temple. Breaking into a run might not even be necessary at the moment—no one will probably ambush them when they’re looking the robot over, probably.

Though of course Add has to ruin Jakob’s borderline pleasant mood right away.

“Need I remind you that you’ve made a great mess of things?” Well, so much for their god-shinki unity earlier on. The fact that Add’s condition is going to take a worryingly long time to get better also bothers him, and in true Jakob fashion, he must channel all that concern through anger:

“And that I have to clean it all up? I can’t be lugging you around while I make the repairs for thirty different temples!”

To say nothing of all the other landmarks and whatnot they’d managed to destroy in the interim. And no doubt the old gods will deem it their greatest pleasure to assign him to personally deal with whatever fallout the incident’s caused in the Far Shore.

Ugh.