mutantsgohome | RP WITH ME(ME)

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RP WITH ME(ME)

【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.

♛ refer to the list above for ~~active(?)~~ somewhat less rusty muses (or pick someone else from my full muselist, you goddamn lunatic).
♛ post "calling" one of them out — you can do so by putting their name in the subject line!
♛ can be informal/formal/comment spam/crosscanon/explicit/whatever tickles your fancy!
♛ feel free to make up a scenario at the start, or wait to see where things go.
♛ need a prompt? whoa hey look a random scenario meme go steal from that you nerd.

meme code.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Add immediately begins struggling, because of course he does, even if Jakob is actually being quite helpful by keeping them rooted. After a little while a bright red WARNING sign starts flashing in the corner along with some smaller text, probably because they're flying this thing straight up into the air with no regard for anyone's safety. Their only view of the outside is a jumbled blur of ground and sky. They might be spinning? It's hard to tell.

"I'm fine, stop— let me get at the controls! Do you want to die here?!" At least he has a reason to be difficult this time. He flails in the direction of the main control panel, trying to grab onto the back of the seat to maybe drag both of them over there. "If that's the flight controls then the steering must be close by! I can at least slow the acceleration!"

Is there an upper limit to the Far Shore's atmosphere? What would happen if they hit the 'top'? As fascinating as that question might be, Add isn't too keen on testing it by ramming a giant uncontrollable robot into it.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Jakob snaps, knowing fully well what the answer to that question is as he stubbornly hangs on. The flashing warning sign can’t be good, but neither is anything about this situation, and that’s why Jakob’s hanging tight.

It’s a terrible thing when you realize that Add still has a better handle on the situation than you do. Regardless, his eyes dart around the cockpit, seeking out some manner of escape somewhere amid all this rattling and flashing lights and alarming noises and he really, really wishes things would quiet down for a moment and…

His eyes widen. That’s it.

“Open up a portal.”

"I know more than you do!!" AKA look, he knows a lot about Nasods but he's not gonna pretend he has any idea how to pilot this deathtrap. He's trying his best! He found some controls, that has to count for something!!

Add is still trying to squirm his way free, though Jakob's next words do make him pause. He shoots his shinki an incredulous look. "Seriously?! You think abandoning an out-of-control defense unit is plan A? First of all, if it crashed or got lost that would be a total waste of a perfectly good Nasod specimen! Secondly, what do you think's going to happen if we leave it here, it doesn't have infinite fuel sources! It could crash-land on our temple! Third—"

Another rant is cut off by a loud click as they both slip down a little. Between Jakob's clinging for dear life and Add's stubborn flailing, they finally managed to yank down that lever. There's another hiss and a creak of grinding metal and turning gears, the holoscreens at the front of the cockpit parting as a sliver of light cuts through the dark interior...

... yeah, so, turns out the hatch does still work, it was just kind of stuck. And now they're several thousand feet up in the air with the door open, a dozen different safety warnings are flashing all around them, and no one has their seatbelts on.

Add stops flailing and grabs onto Jakob, the roar of wind almost enough to drown out his voice even at this range. "Pull it back up!"

Jakob is still clinging to that lever, because fuck if he’s got any other lifelines right now. Although the damn thing might snap if they keep this up for much longer.

But right now he isn’t thinking about that. Right now he’s thinking about that awful lurching feeling like he’d been yanked out of his own skin, and that feeling had yet to subside—indeed it had grown even worse the moment that hatch opened, at literally the worst fucking time, because of course it did!!!

“I’m—I’m trying!” he screams above the dim of alarms, feeling his jaw rattling in his skull as he says it. The fact that Add’s finally stilled and grabbed a hold of him like he should’ve ages ago is of small comfort to Jakob, who feels as though he might be yanked out of there and into that flashing, roaring darkness—wherever this is.

His grip on the lever is steely, but given the awkwardness of his position vis-à-vis the damned contraption as well as the fact that he’s clinging to Add tightly with his other arm means that his progress will be slow, and will look for all the world like he’s dancing at a rave. A midnight robot rave of death in the midst of an extra-atmospheric techno-beat acid trip with an extra heaping helping of blaring sirens.

And maybe it’s the jerk of the cockpit as the hatch opens or maybe it’s because Jakob’s too distracted to really make sense of things anymore, but when he finally flips that damn switch Add will find himself engulfed with an overwhelming feeling of relief through their emphatic link…

Only for it to be cut short the moment an airbag pops out of somewhere nearby to slam them further back into the cockpit.

It's relief in 3D when that hatch seals itself back up, Add slumping into his shinki's ironclad hold. In reality that whole ordeal only lasted a few seconds, but at least it's finally over...

Part of it, anyway, as he's reminded when the airbags decide to go off. Right, they're still stuck in an out-of-control mech. That part hasn't changed yet. He groans irritably, punching at the stupid airbag (why does a giant flying robot even have airbags?!) to try and fight his way back to the controls again. This isn't over yet! They can still regain control...!!

The alarms finally stop blaring, a new flashing message filling the main display as the holoscreens re-materialize at the front of the cockpit:

PILOT INCAPACITATED
REACTIVATING AUTOPILOT MODE

... and just like that, the wild spinning and accelerating stops. They're still flying and no more in control than they started, but at least someone here knows how to steer a mech properly (even if that someone is the mech). Add sighs, giving up and slouching into their airbag prison.

"Maybe teleporting out isn't such a bad idea after all. It'll probably sort itself out eventually... we'll just pick it out of whatever rubble it ends up causing and say we had nothing to do with it."

What…What does that message even mean? Not for the first time since arriving at the Far Shore, Jakob’s mentally kicking himself over not understanding all these incomprehensible technobabble sooner as he stares up over the airbags, still keeping Add on a death grip for a few more seconds until the tumult inside finally stops.

He gingerly lets go of Add then. For a moment, he contemplates stabbing the airbags, but decides against it. At this point, he’d rather risk flipping that lever again than facing up to whatever other surprise this mecha has for them.

“Agreed,” he replies, switching off the airbags and holding his breath as he does so. He stays motionless for a few more moments, as if expecting something else to happen, but when nothing terrible seems forthcoming, finally sighs in relief.

“As long as there is no possibility of this thing returning to the Far Shore, all will be well.” He gives Add a pointed look. “It is going to keep flying away from the Far Shore, isn’t it?”

The airbags slowly retract with a soft deflating whistle not unlike a long, drawn out fart, a sound which suits their current level of success quite nicely. In other news, Jakob is the first person to successfully touch something in this cockpit and not have it backfire hideously somehow. Congratulations, Jakob. At least something went right today.

There are still some warning messages flashing, but they've achieved a relative amount of peace for now. Add leans on the back of the pilot seat now that the stupid airbags are gone. Well, they've agreed on the next course of action, but... "Unless it can cross dimensions, it can't exactly fly 'away' from the Far Shore. Perhaps away from Takamagahara, if we assume the other pantheons exist on the same plane as Japan's... but, I'm not sure where we are right now." It's muttered with sheepish reluctance, but he can't exactly lie about it. Add's sense of direction is pretty sharp, but he's without his dynamos and they've been flying and spinning around wildly for awhile now, so who fucking knows what direction they're going in. Is it moving away, or is it circling overhead, or what? Who knows!

"Fortunately, I am a god of time and space," he quickly adds, "so give me a second and I'll assess the situation. Then we can get out of here and work on our alibis." The most important part of this plan, of course. Add closes his eyes, focusing on the space outside the cockpit, holding in his groans as he adjusts to the nauseating vertigo of it all...

Ah. He can see their house from here.

"... we're not moving away, exactly." They are, in fact, moving towards the central district. At least they're high enough up to not be too obvious... maybe Amaterasu's shinki won't think a shiny dragon-shaped cloud is that weird? "Maybe... maybe I can lure it away, if I go outside and catch its attention. Then we can say we stopped it from rampaging instead of causing anything."

“Absolutely not.” As if Add could even expect a different kind of reply by this point. Jakob had been listening to those explanations with a frown, his brows knitting tighter the more Add went on.

The only thing he can really agree to is the alibi part, but he’ll deal with that when the time comes. Right now, he doesn’t want to hurt Add or the tiny handful of people he actually cares about in the Far Shore. Although…if it came down to choosing either one of them…

“I’d be no better than my parents if I let you put yourself in danger.” Not that he’s forgotten that Add still is in danger inside of this roving metal death trap, but he’s working on a solution, dammit! They’ve been through even more dangerous situations than this! Hell, there’d been that time with the ayakashi, and…

“It’s risky, and it will draw far too much attention to us, but at this point that’s hardly a concern any more. If you cannot control it from here, then you might as well control it from the outside.”

Use the spoons, Add.

It really shouldn't be a surprise that Jakob is against Add using himself as bait, but he rolls his eyes and sighs extra loud anyway. Would it help if he reminded Jakob that he's capable of reversing death itself? Probably not, but still. It's not like danger is that big of a deal. He could totally fight a giant mech in aerial combat.

"It's not that I can't control it from in here, I just don't have the time to properly research everything under these conditions—" add literally no one was asking about that "but whatever. Controlling it from the outside... perhaps if we had something that could restrain its body by force..."

He pauses, contemplating that thought. What could they use to restrain such a massive machine without causing too much damage...?

Gradually, his gaze starts to wander until he's staring thoughtfully at Jakob. He holds his stare for a moment, frowning slightly, before raising a hand as if coming to an idea—

"Kuki." Who needs warnings? Clearly, this must be what Jakob had in mind. He twirls a spoon in his hand. "How far do you think you can reach from here? Otherwise, we may have to go with plan C, and I'm not sure how I feel about making you the bait." He's probably not joking, but look, he'd much rather use a bunch of non-sentient telekinetic spoons for this if he can.

“Augh!! Warn me first before you do something like that!” Turning into his vessel form will never not feel weird—at least give him time to mentally prepare himself first! Having his consciousness suddenly split into six while the cockpit seems to loom large about him makes him glad that he can’t puke in this form.

Even if he kind of wants to.

With a huff, he finally recovers himself a few seconds later to reply with: “Honestly, I’m tempted to have you simply rend this golem and be done with it.”

But is that even possible when it’s not an ayakashi? “But never mind. To tell the truth, I have no idea, but we have no choice but to try it. Just give me the order.”

And they’ll whether or not the spoonocalypse will happen from there.

Edited (wtf icon) 2020-04-05 14:48 (UTC)

"A shinki should be prepared to serve his master at any moment," is Add's half-assed reply. Warnings are for chumps. "I don't know if we could even manage something like that, but let's see..."

He'd still prefer to keep this robot intact, after all, but a combat unit like this should be able to take a bit of roughing up if it comes to that. If it's good enough to fly, it can probably be beaten down into landing without making it blow up. Once it's grounded it'll be much easier to deal with.

Add closes his eyes and begins to focus, calling upon the divine authority of his shinki's domain—the holy domain of the bluntest of cutlery. In the temples far, far beneath them the drawers begin to rattle, disposable plastic implements burst forth from their thin wrappings, and dozens upon dozens of spoons are wrenched from hands and mouths alike. A hurricane of metal and plastic begins to swirl into the air, rising up towards the dragon mech in the sky with a deafening clatter.

Of course, from their perspective within the mech's cockpit it doesn't seem like much is happening at all. The next minute or so goes by in relative peace... until the mech's warning signals start flashing wildly again, detecting the presence of a sudden threat—

The external view in front of them is immediately covered up by a swarm of spoons. The machine begins to thrash, trying to fight off thousands of tiny enemies. This, of course, shakes around the cockpit as well, and Add is forced to cling to the back of the seat again to keep himself from getting tossed around.

"It's— hard to focus from in here," he hisses out, trying to divide his attention with limited success. The spoons outside are starting to lose their formation. "This is your power, too. Can you control them at all?"

…Ugh, that’s just the sort of thing he would say, and he doesn’t know whether to be proud or irritated at Add for actually using it against him.

But he doesn’t have long to ponder this as a sudden tide of spoons crashes into them and Jakob yelps as the cockpit seems to shake and shudder at intensely nauseating levels. It takes him a moment to collect himself, and when he does—

“Well don’t just stand there! Strap yourself in and don’t move!” There are seatbelts in this monstrosity, right? He’ll have to hope, since he isn’t able to physically shield Add from danger at the moment.

But while Add is hopefully doing as he’s being told (Jakob can dream), Jakob for his part focuses on the matter at hand. A sudden tide of spoons all the way out in space. As if they haven’t drawn enough attention to themselves already…he realizes too late that the spoons would very definitely implicate them in this latest disaster and he’ll have quite the struggle when it comes to negotiating with the gods for a lighter sentence for Add later on.

But for now he concentrates. He envisions himself one—that is, six—spoons among many. He feels himself reaching out to his kin, all of which are subservient, frequently splattered with food, and apt to get a lot of lip from everyone around them. Damn, maybe this is too relatable after all. But the spoons are also a fount of infinite possibilities, as their last major battle has shown. The spoons can be anything. They are kin. They are legion. What would be the most terrifying shape they could take?

Jakob considers this for a moment. Stains that are downright impossible to remove are a nightmare to a butler, as are terrible manners, some of Add’s more eccentric inventions, that time the zombies…

No. No. Don’t think about that now. If he were in his human form he might even have broken out into a cold sweat. But still, he reaches further—further into the deep, into the primal vestiges of his memory. Yes. There is something else here that instinctively fills him with dread, though he doesn’t quite understand why. They’re only in pictures, or on TV or on the Internet. They’re but fanciful creatures that shouldn’t exist in this world save perhaps as the pets of some gods.

But they scare him, somehow, even as they fill him with a deep awe. At last, the spoons begin shuddering in place, then they begin to shift, all of them flowing into a single point in space as an image forms slowly in Jakob’s mind’s eye.

A dragon, yes. A dragon should certainly do it…

"I've been trying to—" well, ok, not really. He's just been clinging to the seat like that's close enough to actually being seated, but maybe he should try to fix that before this gets even more turbulent. He grumbles halfheartedly, putting his trust in Jakob's capabilities as he drops his focus long enough to drag himself into the pilot's chair, awkwardly fumbling for the seatbelt as the entire robot flails violently around them. Finally, the seatbelt light at the edge of the control panel blinks off.

Add looks a little ridiculous, considering he has the body of a small child in an adult-sized pilot seat, but whatever. They already gave up on controlling it so this is just so he doesn't crash into the exit switch again or something stupid like that. He's still holding one of Jakob's vessels in his hand tightly, and he reaches out for the rest of them once he's properly belted down—Jakob is unlikely to get hurt like this, but it would also be really stupid if Add lost an eye to a flying spoon. Both of them are staying put.

"Alright, what's..." the plan, but he sees it for himself instead. The spoons have definitely regrouped, and their view from the mech's eyes is... well, it sure is something. "Right. Okay. I can work with this."

They can work with this. The two metal dragons clash, steel grinding against steel, dicetium alloy meeting... uh, plastic. Actually, their creation may be slightly outclassed here, though what it lacks in durability it can make up for in telekinetically-powered strength and... "regeneration"? They have a lot of spoons to work with. If they just keep throwing spoons at it, will that be enough to win?

The cockpit shakes as the Nasod beast roars all around them, some exciting new warnings flashing onto the holoscreens as the spoon-dragon (the Dragspoon, perhaps) thrusts a dull claw into one of its adversary's mechanical gashes. A convenient diagram of the mech on one screen highlights a big red 'oh fuck' region on its left side. That faintly smokey scent is probably nothing important.

"If we can disable one of the wings, maybe..." Add mumbles, focusing most of his attention on helping keep their abomination intact.

With Add nestled in an oversized chair like a true evil overlord conducting a space invasion, Jakob struggles to focus, linking spoon with spoon together in his mind, trying to force a kind of utensil-based unity out of these millions of disparate components—including maybe a handful of sporks with teeth small enough that they qualify as spoons. These Jakob uses to jab ineffectually at the robot’s armor, even as the rest of his dainty silver selves slot themselves neatly into Add’s hand.

A part of Jakob wants even these to join in the fray outside, but alas. It’s probably for the best. He spares a moment to glance at the screen and watch as their own vehicle warns of its impending demise—or at least Jakob hopes is its impending demise, but then again he’s also hoping that it won’t be ending too…spoon, before he and Add can make their escape.

The Dragspoon continues to regenerate, but it’s gradually shrinking in comparison to its sturdier companion, several hundreds of the spoons having already been bent or melted away by the blasts of heat and radiation that comes with space combat.

“We won’t last here!” he exclaims, forcing his Dragspoon to widen the gash within their mecha, but the further all that metal and plastic is shoved inside more of those spoons are ceasing to remain spoons, having melted away into burned plastic or useless pieces of metal embedded in the robot’s left flank. He knows he has to make a decision then, and empties his mind accordingly.

The Dragspoon disintegrates then as its component parts scatter, flying clear out of view as they reform at the back of their machine. Jakob has in his mind’s eye something even more fearsome than a Dragspoon—but, he realizes in a rather zenlike manner, he’d only come upon this simple but efficient idea after fully achieving true spoonirvana.

The spoons are utensillating behind them, forming up into a long thin line, tapering at the top. Well, now. This is no Big Dipper, that’s for sure. It can be more accurately described as a giant catapult, seething and bristling with many millions of handles yawning with many millions of bowls all gleaming in the light of the sun.

But really, all a spoon is, in the end, a catapult.

Jakob takes a deep breath…

“We are about to be served!!!”

And then a sudden impact, as millions of spoons crash into them from behind and send them hurtling back into the Earth’s immediate atmosphere.

Edited 2020-04-07 15:37 (UTC)

It's a losing battle, and Add fears the worst when Jakob abruptly lets the spoons scatter. Now that they've worked Eltrion into a frenzy, is it really such a good idea to let it do as it pleases? Without an adversary to focus its rage on, the Steel Guardian could very well decide to wreak havoc across the Far Shore, and then they'd really be in trouble. The damn thing dropping from the sky would be the last of their worries!

"We can't just give up—" Add barks, about to unbuckle himself and try fighting with the controls again, but... no, Jakob hasn't just given up, has he? Something else is going on beyond the confines of their cockpit, twisting and reforming in the air... Add stops, squinting at the blurry image on the screen, allowing Jakob to take the reigns of his creation as everything finally clicks into place.

A divine weapon, as great and as powerful as Odin's Spear, the mighty Gungnir, and even the mythical Fragarach... no, perhaps even more powerful than the divine weapons of old. For this is the mighty Catapult of Henir, the Ladlevateinn that shall be whispered of in myths to come, forever etched into the annals of history.

Add is so breath-taken by the sight (or perhaps just dumbfounded, close enough) that he's as surprised as their Nasod mech when the divine catapult suddenly slams into them, rather than trying to skewer the beast on its end like a... well. Alright, so maybe that would've been kind of stupid considering it's a giant spoon and not a sword or a spear, but he definitely didn't expect to be launched straight back into the atmosphere. The warning signals begin blaring even more loudly than before as the image on the screen blurs, the entire mech spinning out of control as it rapidly loses altitude.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Add is screaming, clinging to his seat while everything spins nauseatingly around them. "I said disable a wing, not spike the damn thing back to the Heavens! Ughh, I'm gonna be sick—"

But there's still something he can do from here. Though many of the spoons remain far above them within Ladlevateinn, there are still many that linger in the fast-approaching lands below. Add calls out one last time, spurring the remaining silverware into motion as the final remnants of spoonkind converge below, forming a rising net of interlocking scoops and handles. They bend and snap easily beneath the enormous weight of the crashing mech, but it's enough—their sacrifice is enough to slow the descent, just barely, from "imminent mech pancake" to "survivable".

The deafening crash shakes Takamagahara for the second time today, and the blaring alarms cease in an instant as the mech's power is abruptly cut off from the impact, plunging Add and Jakob into darkness. Metal creaks outside as the beast finally falls, returning to its mechanical slumber.

The cockpit is upsidedown, and Add might be clutching Jakob's vessels a little too tightly, but spoons are want for a little bending from time to time.

"... did we do it?"

“Shut up and brace yourself!” is the best reply Jakob can make given their rapid descent into the Earth’s atmosphere. For a first-time space traveler he sure is getting the full brunt of the experience, even going so far as to create a new constellation of cutlery for Henir’s followers to come.

The Ladlevatein, unfortunately, begins disintegrating as they enter the Heavens and crash-land atop some temple—hopefully not belonging to a god they actually care about, Jakob hopes—and the lights cut out.

All he can feel is the sweaty, constricting feeling of Add nearly bending his multiple selves sideways. With the mech shut down, its audio functions are likely disabled, preventing them—mercifully—from having to listen to the rain of ruined spoons from the outside.

Indeed, all of the Far and even the Near Shore is experiencing a meteor shower of sorts, as molten former-spoons pulled in by the Earth’s gravity find themselves careening to the planet’s surface like the heated barrage of a million space guns. And thus the infamy of Henir continues to grow, with the nascent legend of the great Ladlevatein and the apocalyptic Ragnaspork which must follow in their wake. Never again will the denizens of the Near Shore look upon their dinner sets the same way again, and all who revere Henir must now observe the holy trinity of spoon, fork, and knife.

And somewhere within a secluded area of the Near Shore, an artist is hard at work painting one among many of his madness-induced eye-portal paintings, which are now weeping rains of fire that, upon closer inspection, appear to be painstakingly drawn spoons.

At the Far Shore, however, things aren’t proceeding as pleasantly.

“We’ve made it safely home, haven’t we?” At least, he thinks so. It’s hard to be sure when his vision’s cut off and they’re upside-down, but Jakob doesn’t let that get him down. After all, he’s already considering the immediate consequences of their actions, and he’s torn between breaking them out of the cockpit or keeping Add inside and out of trouble while he deals with some very angry gods.

…Then again, Add being in the cockpit in the first place is what started this whole mess to begin with. Right then and there Jakob has to make an executive decision:

“Ugh, I can already tell that we’ve left quite a mess out there. At least change me back so I can see the extent of the damages.”

Add could peek outside with his clairvoyance... but has wisely chosen not to. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss, even for a genius such as himself. He'll delay the inevitable for as long as he can. Maybe it'll give him some time to come up with a better explanation than "we just happened to run into this rampaging robot, which we definitely didn't set off on said rampage, managed to get inside of it, and then single-handedly (spoonedly?) defeated it as a service to the Heavens."

For now, they have a couple more immediate problems to take care of. Add sighs, relaxing his grip on Jakob as he fumbles in the dark for his seat belt.

"One second." This would be a dumb idea, and probably still looks like one, but he only plummets for a fraction of a second after unstrapping himself before slowing into an upsidedown hover. Being a dimensional anomaly still has its perks. He spins himself the right way around before letting go of his shinki, uttering his name to trigger the transformation—enjoy having your body back to normal, Jakob.

"The hatch definitely won't be opening now... so, hold on to me. I'm going to teleport us out." Even if he really shouldn't be pushing himself so much without Dynamo... ah. Maybe if he passes out, they won't be as mad at him since he obviously wouldn't do that to himself on purpose? Hmmmm.

"We need to make sure we have our stories straight. If anyone asks, the machine started rampaging long before we got into it."

Jakob yelps when he feels them plummeting, and even within his vessel form he still feels as though he’d just suffered a near-fatal heart attack. Typical Add, to cause him problems even when the climax of their adventures is over.

He grips at Add’s shoulder, still feeling wobbly and vaguely like smacking a wineglass to his head as he tries to reorient himself to his human form once more. Someday he’ll get used to these transformations, but it’s not every day that shinki get their consciousness divided in such a manner, after all.

But that’s not important. Already he’s working through all possible scenarios, and comes to another executive decision:

“Absolutely not.” He doesn’t like how Add feels in his arms, and he’d rather carry his god off to bed, but maybe the floor…hatch?—he’s not even sure if this machine is oriented correctly anymore—would be a comfortable enough spot until Jakob is done dealing with the immediate danger.

“I’ll negotiate a lighter sentence for you on my own. The gods are more inclined to listen to me, and with any luck, you won’t have to be punished at all.”

Jakob's immediate refusal to let Add even leave the cockpit isn't completely unexpected, but there is one major flaw in this plan of his. Add raises an eyebrow.

"So... you don't want me to teleport us out?" The mech has no power, Jakob. How are you getting the door open? God teleportation is either both or neither, he can't only send Jakob out without bringing himself along. "I suppose I could try opening a portal instead, but..."

If he even can, but Jakob probably doesn't realize that yet. His body may be better adapted to spatiotemporal manipulation now, but Add still needs assistance from Dynamo to keep it (and himself) stable. So if he tried to make a portal right now, on his own, after already being exhausted from this whole ordeal, the results might not be pretty. Either the portal collapses, or his body collapses. So, really, their options are for Add to come along and possibly fuck up the negotiations, or for Jakob to go alone to deal with it, which may also result in Jakob getting stuck in the void and/or Add exploding into spatiotemporal dust for awhile.

"... Hmm. As much as I dislike dealing with the Heavens personally, I don't think faking my death is the answer this time. But if you really want to handle this alone, I suppose I could try." Is he going to leave this up to Jakob without giving him the full context? Yes. Yes he is. Pick your poison carefully, Jakob.

Edited 2020-06-04 08:08 (UTC)

Jakob hesitates. He’d taken it for granted that Add’s teleportation abilities needed two people. The fact that the only sort of teleportation magic he’s directly familiar with can be done remotely, well…

Never mind that. He doesn’t like how Add segues from opening portals to outright faking his death, and his bullshit senses, long since honed after what feels like an afterlifetime as Add’s shinki, causes him to narrow his eyes in deep suspicion.

Of course, the effect’s plenty mitigated by the fact that they’re in the dark, but it’s a valiant try nonetheless.

“Why can’t things ever be simple with you, Add?” He’s tired, exasperated, and worried sick. What’s another spat inside the cockpit while the rest of the Heavens attempt to poke at this heavily armored machine?

“Honestly, if you hadn’t already offended a large majority of the Heavens we wouldn’t even need to have this discussion!”

It's alright, Jakob, Add has pretty good nightvision. He can at least tell Jakob is giving him A Look. Not that he really needs to know when it's shortly followed by more of the usual nagging...

He sighs, exerting just enough energy to light up his eyes so Jakob knows how hard he's rolling them right now. "And what about it? What's done is done, I'm not about to try changing the past again." Too much trouble—not that he expects Jakob would be down for that plan anyway. If faking his death is off the table, destroying an entire timeline wouldn't even be in the same room. "You're the one who's insisted on staying by my side all this time. Compared to everything else I've done, this is nothing. We'll get through it fine."

Well... it's not wrong, isn't it? At least this time around Add didn't destroy anything on purpose. They even solved the problem on their own! So if he can get off easy after tearing apart the fabric of time and space and unleashing a horde of ayakashi on the Heavens, talking their way around this disaster should be no problem at all.

"I'll let you do the talking, but I still think we should get our story straight. If they ask me about it later and I give the wrong answer, it's going to look bad no matter what the truth is."

“That’s—” Jakob’s mouth hangs agape as he tries to think up a reply, tries to be offended at Add’s attitude, eyerolling and all. They have had a day, and it’s nowhere close to being over yet.

But it’s not the worst. Definitely not the worst.

“That’s…perfectly reasonable, actually.” And this, more than anything that’s happened to them today, is what ultimately makes him feel like he’s going insane. He might even feel a little proud of Add for that, but they don’t have the luxury of time at the moment.

“I was considering how to make you look like a hero who had just saved the Heavens from some terrible threat, but…”

No way in Heaven or even Hell will anyone believe that.

Who would've thought Add could actually grow a little sometimes? Although, it would probably be more helpful if he grew out of his tendency to constantly stick his nose into trouble, but that might be asking for too much.

For some reason it feels a little embarrassing to have Jakob agree with him on this, but he's just going to try not to think about it. They're on the same page, that's good. As for making Add out to be the hero— "Ugh, that's way too cheesy. As if I'd do something like that. Why don't we just take the middle road and say I stopped it because I wanted to study it? That's not so far from the truth."

Even if it is inherently suspicious that this is obviously a machine from Add's homeworld, and that someone probably saw it crashed on their temple grounds before it went on its rampage. But surely no one would use that as a way to get Add in trouble, right?

"... Hmm. Since a lot of the old gods already have a poor impression of me, it would be too easy for someone to come up with a different story that's more believable than our own. If that happens, it won't matter how solid our alibi is since it'll still be our word against theirs. We need something extra to prove we wouldn't have caused this on purpose..."

He's really, seriously thinking about faking his death again... but maybe they can still get away with it without going too far. They don't have to be dead to garner sympathy. And Add is still quicker to put himself back together than Jakob, so obviously—

"You're going to need to carry me out. Just act naturally and follow my lead." Good thing it's so dark in here, all Jakob will be able to see is a flutter of sparkling fragments as Add willingly disintegrates a couple limbs. No big deal. He reaches out for Jakob's arm, ready to teleport them both out at a moment's notice.

“You’re not seriously trying to—”

Why does it keep circling back to the faking his death thing, anyway? Ugh. He’d been about to feel offended over Add implying that no one would take Jakob’s word for whatever’s happened here, because of course people would believe him—he’s the responsible and trustworthy one here, remember? He’d kissed up to the annoying old guard to make sure of that…

But he settles for bristling about it instead. He’ll use whatever clout he thinks he actually has with the Heavens as a last resort, if he must. With a heavy sigh, he draws close to pick him up, trying not to let the stomach-churning sight of Add’s disintegrating limbs get to him. He’ll never get used to these antics.

“Try not to overdo it, then. A brief explanation, and then we proceed to the temple with all haste before anyone has the time to sentence you. Understand?”

Is it really that surprising when his old go-to solution was to run away to another dimension and never go back? At least he's planning to stay in the same timeline. But if he can remove himself from the problem temporarily, that's gotta be a good compromise, right??

"Of course," Add scoffs, making a show of limply hanging from Jakob's arms. "I am gravely injured from stopping that rampaging Nasod, after all. Who even knows what complicated security systems I had to break through to force it to deactivate?"

No one, that's who. Because no one else in this world has any idea how the fuck Nasod technology works, let alone the technologically-challenged natives of Takamagahara. He could claim practically anything about this robot and who would be able to prove him wrong? That's their ace right now and he's sure as hell going to make use of it.

"... Ah. But I do still want to recover it," he quickly tacks on just as he's about to teleport them away. This is still very important to him, okay?? "The core could violently explode if it isn't handled by a professional, so I'm counting on you to convince them not to try disposing of it, alright?"

Rather than give Jakob an opportunity to argue, he goes ahead and whisks them away to the outside. Ah, to feel the touch of the sun once more! And also to be surrounded by several dozen very unhappy looking shinki.

They may have landed on Amaterasu's temple grounds after all... but not on the temple, thank god. The garden is absolutely ruined, though. It's going to take a lot of work to repair all the damage considering there's a gigantic dragon mech half-buried in the soil and surrounded by a very large crater. There are also spoons everywhere, for reasons only they will understand.

But Add is ~gravely injured~ so he's just gonna... play dead, basically. Maybe moan a little when prompted? He's practically weightless right now so he might even do some pathetic writhing if it helps sell the effect.

Edited (typoo) 2020-06-14 08:41 (UTC)

RP WITH ME(ME)

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emerges from the rubble because the continuation of this thread is Important

crosses spoonbending a giant robot off the bucket list...

ok but consider: wrestling a giant robot with an equally giant telekinetic spoondragon

stop with this galaxybrained shit omfg

not until we have a proper kaiju battle right over amaterasu's temple!!!!!

why even stop there anymore when we could then go with transforming mecha next!!!!

i hope youll forkgive me for this plate reply

For all the puns you’ve been dishing out I guess I can cutlery you some slack

that would certainly be knife of you

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re-emerges from the stale, blackened depths like a swamp creature rising from a muddied lakebed

gibbers darkly from my slimy non-Euclidean haunt in greeting